When Your Husband Doesn’t Lead Spiritually

Patience, full of prayer, hope, and forbearance, as well as periodic attempts to engage him in dialogue about her feelings for him.

I don’t mean nagging when I say I try to engage him in dialogue regarding her feelings for him on occasion. Day after day, nagging the guy from the side, top down, underneath, and signaling that he isn’t measuring up through body language and sideways comments. That is the end of the relationship. It renders the companion immobile. It feels bleak, and love seems to be fading.

Rather, I’m referring to a rare and deliberate, “Can we talk honey?” “Can we grab a bite to eat and chat about anything I’d like to talk about?” When you’re not exhausted or irritated, do it. It should be a scheduled appointment that does not feel demeaning or intimidating. Then she can pour her heart out to him, say what she has to say, and ask if he is willing to go farther.

That might just persuade him to join you. And if it doesn’t work—which it won’t if there’s anything more serious going on—she can try again in a few weeks or months. “You know, nothing really changed,” she can say. Is there any way you could speak with Pastor John, Pastor Tom, or someone in our small group about how they do it, how they lead devotions?” See if he’d be interested. Maybe he’ll agree, and then someone else will get involved.

Another option is to look for men’s retreats, such as the ones we provide here at the church. “Could we go to this?” or “Would you go to this?” might be something a wife notices and asks. That’s what I mean when I say “the occasional thing,” as opposed to “the nagging.”

Forbearance was the other aspect I highlighted. According to 1 Peter 3:1, a wife’s forbearance may be the means by which she converts her husband from spiritual indifference to spiritual passion. (While this scripture refers to unbelieving husbands, the concept remains the same.) “OK, this may never change in my spouse,” a lady says when she is forbearing. I hope so, but it’s possible it’ll never change, and I’m not going to let this flaw be the only thing I think about when it comes to him. Instead, I’ll attempt to love, bless, and appreciate him for the qualities that I admire in him, while praying and modeling what I hope he will become for me.”

Prayer was also suggested. She should pray fervently for him, and if she receives permission in her interactions with him, she could tell someone else about it. “You know, Joe doesn’t lead us in devotions, and he doesn’t seem to talk to the kids much about their spiritual paths,” she could say to a couple friend or a pastor acquaintance. “Do you think there’s anything I can do?” Then she can seek the advice of another male, who may be able to assist her.

But, over time, they must attend a good church where her spouse is constantly addressed and aroused in order for him to improve. It’s possible he’s a baby! It’s possible he’s intimidated around her!

Allow me to give you a concrete example. In our church, there is a couple where the wife is in charge of all devotions and spiritual leadership. And he was a devout Christian who attended church every Sunday. “You know, Mary”—let’s call her Mary—”she is simply so much smarter than I am, and she reads way better than I do,” he told me. When she takes the lead, things usually go well, and I have to admit that I feel very inferior to her. I’m pleased to hand it over to her.”

“OK Joe,” I said—call let’s him Joe—”I’ll just trust what you said: she’s smarter and reads better.” But, guess what? That has no bearing on the situation. You should be the one in charge here. Let me show you how to do it using an example. ‘Hey kids, come on in here at 8 o’clock tonight,’ are you able to say? Make your way into the living room. Is it true that we’re going to have devotions’? Is that something you can say?

“Well, say that, and then when they’re all here, say, ‘OK, we’re going to read through John’s Gospel.’ ‘Let us all take out our Bibles.’ ‘Now, Mary, why don’t you read the first fourteen verses here for us?’ they say as they open their Bibles. ‘Jimmy, why don’t you pray and then I’ll pray?’ you can offer when she finishes reading the verses. “Are you capable of doing that?”

FREE GUIDE: Healing Your Marriage

Use these simple techniques to revive your husband’s love for you, and make him devoted to you again!

That is what leadership is all about. Competence has nothing to do with leadership in this situation. It is the bravery to act on one’s own initiative.

The question above was about what a wife should do if her husband isn’t spiritually leading her, but I’m going to tell you what a husband should do. However, a wife might be able to persuade her husband into an office where a man might simply explain anything like this to him.

You don’t have to be smarter or more spiritual than your wife to be a leader. Goodness gosh, I head a congregation of hundreds of individuals who are more godly than I am. It would be hopeless for a pastor if my leadership was contingent on my being the most everything in this church.

Before You Continue…

Can your marriage be saved? Take this quiz to find out! We will also show you the fastest and easiest way to fix your marriage. Start the quiz now!

What do you do when your husband is not a spiritual leader?

Prayer should be used to cover the issue. Praise God for being the ultimate spiritual authority in your home, and trust him to provide you with the resources you need. Never stop praying for your husband’s spiritual development or the faith of your children. Ask God for insight so that you can handle the circumstance gracefully.

How can I help my husband grow spiritually?

These six steps are for you if you’ve ever felt like your spouse is spiritually apathetic or drifting away from God.

  • Examine your objectives. Why do you believe your partner needs to spiritually mature?

What are the responsibilities of a godly husband?

Your responsibility as a Christian husband is to lead well, love well, and continue to learn about your wife. Husbands who do so are more able to understand their wives’ desires, worries, anxieties, challenges, and interests, as well as what makes them happy. All of this will assist you in leading with integrity and achieving a long-lasting marriage that will glorify God.

FREE GUIDE: Healing Your Marriage

Use these simple techniques to revive your husband’s love for you, and make him devoted to you again!

Stay tuned for further information about Christian Husbands’ responsibilities. We’re only at the beginning. Ladies, don’t worry; we’ll be sending you a guidebook as well.

Can the wife be the spiritual leader?

Submission is the hallmark of Christian culture. Some people feel that submitting simply entails mindless obedience. Others believe it has something to do with spouses suppressing their own desires, needs, and feelings. The truth is that the apostle Paul never stated that it is the obligation of the husband to force his wife to submit. It is a decision to submit. A wife submits to her husband voluntarily and as a result of her love and dedication to the Lord. She respects God’s instruction that “you wives must accept the authority of your husbands” and accepts her husband’s status as the family’s leader (1 Peter 3:1, NLT). Submission is more about a mindset—a heart attitude—than it is about an action or a series of actions.

Commit to something higher.

The innovative thought that your purpose is to support each other on your path to ultimate progress, to become your highest self, raises a spiritual partnership above an ordinary relationship. Make it obvious that you’re striving for spiritual growth, not just physical stability or emotional support.

This means you’re helping each other on your path to becoming a more “enlightened” person. Your relationship’s day-to-day functioning will be determined by the goals you set for it. Expect long-term satisfaction if your objective is a radical evolution of your body, mind, and spirit; expect fulfillment beyond your dreams if your goal is a radical evolution of your body, mind, and spirit.

How can I grow spiritually in my marriage?

This one may appear to be self-evident, yet it’s easy to overlook. You could go weeks or months without sitting together in an actual church service if you’re volunteering in the children’s ministry or another area during the normal worship service. There’s nothing wrong with serving (it’s why we included it on this list), but don’t let it become an impediment to spiritual growth.

What is a spiritual connection in a relationship?

When I had that sense, he’d come up on my doorway without warning or conversation. In fact, during the first year of our relationship, we went without exchanging phone numbers.

From a mile out, I could “smell” the man.

That’s what it means to have a spiritual relationship.

FREE GUIDE: Healing Your Marriage

Use these simple techniques to revive your husband’s love for you, and make him devoted to you again!

Yes, it’s that spiritual bond with the other person that has nothing to do with sex.

When a couple has a spiritual relationship, they experience harmony, understanding, and peace.

Emotions arise from the core or heart, both physically and mentally. This bond is comparable to finding your soul mate.

Spiritual interactions fill in the gaps in our lives and provide us with the skills we need to grow as people.

  • a) You’ll know it when you’ve found the correct one. With that individual, you will feel at ease. If you have a strong sense of urgency, this is probably not the correct person for you.
  • b) You’ll know you’re with the correct one, sweetheart, when you start walking in a new direction or notice that nothing bothers you anymore.
  • c) You’re in a spiritual connection when you’re okay with letting things unfold naturally because you know they’re moving in the way you want them to go.
  • d) You’ll discover yourself evolving as a person in a spiritual relationship… you’ll feel more complete than you have in the past.
  • e) It’s that unspoken accord, that unconditional love that everyone talks about… it’s that safe feeling that most women and men crave when it comes to the other person.
  • f) Most importantly, we do things for others without expecting anything in return. You provide gifts to your partner to improve your relationship, you try to assist them with their responsibilities, and you offer them a shoulder to weep on after an upsetting incident.

So, as you can see, the broken relationship had nothing to do with what you said or what you’re doing now.

Take care of it… bring positive energy to the table and treat the relationship with respect, as if it were a seed of life. These kinds of connections don’t happen every day.

What is a spiritual leader in a marriage?

Being a spiritual leader entails both protection and development. This entails respecting and loving your wife, as well as assisting her in becoming the greatest woman she can be. It entails being a good listener and not always attempting to be correct, but rather being interested in what your wife is attempting to share with you.

How To Capture His Heart And Make Him Fall For You

Here’s what we’ve realized after so many years of experience as dating coaches:

It’s really easy to make men fall for you once you know the “cheat code”.

See, most women don’t really know how men think, and why they act the way they do…

In fact, they go through their whole life never meeting the perfect guy who treats them right.

Don’t let this be you!

We’ve taught thousands of girls around the world the special “cheat code” to a man’s heart.

Once you learn the truth about how the male mind works, you can make any man fall in love with you.

Here’s how it works:

There are special tricks you can use to target the “emotional triggers” inside his mind.

If you use them the right way, he will start to feel a deep desire for you, and forget about any other woman in his life…

The best part? These techniques are based on psychology, so they work on any man, no matter how old you are or what you look like.

To learn about these simple techniques, check out this free eBook NOW:


Use these easy techniques to “lock-in” a man’s commitment to you, and to make him love you FOREVER!

As women, we understand how you feel.

But no matter what other people say, always remember:

You are an AMAZING woman…

And you deserve an amazing man who loves you, respects you and treats you special.

So start using these special techniques today, and see how quickly men fall in love with you immediately!


Use these easy techniques to “lock-in” a man’s commitment to you, and to make him love you FOREVER!

More FlirtSavvy Articles

Will No Contact Make Him Move On

Your boyfriend or girlfriend has expressed their want to end their relationship with you and no longer be romantically involved with you. You probably came on this page by looking for information on how to get your ex back or viewing one of my YouTube videos. You probably read or heard to me propose the No Contact Rule when you went to war to get your ex back. No contact with your ex, on the other hand, may have struck…

Read More

How To Make Him Jealous And Want You More

I realize this is all a little ridiculous. Women don’t need someone to save them and be their heroes in today’s world. But here’s the funny thing: it’s true. Men still have a need to be heroes. We seek out partnerships that allow us to feel like a guardian because it’s in our DNA. Check watch this free online video if you want to understand more about the hero instinct. Some ideas have the potential to transform the game. And…

Read More

How To Make Him Think Of You

Okay, this is for the drama queens and kings among us. Slipping a pair of your sexiest underwear into his briefcase, bag, or laptop case will make him think more about you. If you don’t want his coworkers thinking about you all day, place them somewhere safe where they won’t inadvertently fall out in front of everyone. Do something completely unexpected. If you always get together after work, switch things up. Surprise him by showing up outside his office wearing…

Read More

What Guys Want When They Are Sick

When your lover is sick, whether it’s a simple cold or a stomach bug, you’ll want to look after him and console him. He might be exaggerating and acting like a huge baby, but if you go out of your way to help him, you’ll get significant brownie points. Because when a man is unwell, all he wants is to be molly coddled. Even if he’s behaving like he’s got the plague when it’s just a slight cold, indulge him…

Read More

How Can I Make Him Miss Me Badly

You want to be comforted not just so that you may feel pleased in your relationship, but also so that your love story can continue to flourish. This is why convincing him to miss you can be a viable option. You can not only be certain of his feelings for you, but you can multiply them tenfold. Make the time you spend together amazing so he wants you around more. You mix up the power play between you and make…

Read More

How To Know If A Guy Just Wants Sex

It’s wonderful to be with someone who makes you feel good about yourself, but you’ve probably realized that the majority of his praises are directed towards your appearance. This is an indication that he solely wants to sleep with you and isn’t interested in anything else. He might not appreciate your personality or anything other than your physical attractiveness. He would tell you how much he admires other elements of you if he liked you, not only make compliments about…

Read More