Why Do I Always Want To Touch My Boyfriend? The Key Facts


Are you someone who can’t resist the urge to cuddle up with your partner at every opportunity?

Do you find yourself constantly invading their personal space, whether they’re sitting on a chair or lying in bed?

If so, you’re not alone. Many people experience a strong desire for physical touch and affection from their significant other.

But why is this the case?

In this article, we’ll explore the science behind our craving for touch and what it means for our relationships.

From the release of “feel-good hormones” to the importance of touch as a love language, we’ll delve into the reasons why you always want to touch your boyfriend.

So, grab a cozy blanket and get ready to learn more about the power of physical connection in relationships.

Why Do I Always Want To Touch My Boyfriend?

There are several reasons why you may feel the need to touch your boyfriend. One of the most obvious reasons is simply because you don’t have enough physical touch in your life. This could be due to feeling lonely or isolated, especially during times like the recent pandemic.

However, there are also deeper reasons why physical touch is so important to us as humans. For one, physical touch is one of the five love languages, which refers to expressing and receiving affection through touch and physical closeness. If your love language is physical touch, then small gestures like holding hands or snuggling up on the couch with your partner can mean a lot more to you than gifts or verbal affirmations.

Additionally, physical touch triggers the release of certain hormones associated with pleasure and bonding, such as serotonin, dopamine, and oxytocin. Oxytocin, in particular, is known as the “bonding hormone” and is released during skin-to-skin contact. This hormone is also released between a newborn baby and its mother, which is why skin-to-skin contact is recommended for bonding after childbirth.

So, when you’re constantly wanting to touch your boyfriend, it’s not just because you’re attracted to him (although that certainly plays a role). It’s also because physical touch helps to strengthen the bond between you two and releases those “feel-good hormones” that make you feel closer and more connected.

The Science Of Touch: Understanding Our Craving For Physical Affection

The science behind our craving for physical affection is fascinating. When we touch someone, our brain releases oxytocin, also known as the “bonding hormone.” This hormone stimulates the release of other feel-good hormones, such as dopamine and serotonin, while reducing stress hormones like cortisol and norepinephrine. These hormones are responsible for the warm and fuzzy feelings we experience when we’re close to someone we love.


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Research has found that couples who touch each other more tend to be happier. From backrubs to gentle caresses to hand-holding to hugging, the more intimate contact couples have with one another, the more satisfied they tend to be with their relationships. Physical touch is also beneficial for our health. Touching with more pressure, such as a hug or back rub, is more beneficial than light pressure as it stimulates pressure receptions which induces the release of many beneficial chemicals.

Physical touch increases oxytocin levels and relaxes the nervous system. It can make our bodies more resistant to pain by increasing the production of serotonin, which is our body’s antidepressant and anti-pain chemical. Touch can also aid the immune system by increasing natural killer cells, which are white blood cells that kill viral cells. Regular massage can boost the immune system and help fight off colds.

Being touch starved is a real phenomenon that can lead to loneliness, anxiety, depression, and stress. Physical touch may be a person’s primary love language, meaning they absolutely need it in regular doses to feel fulfilled in a relationship. It may also be a person’s secondary love language, serving as a support for their primary love language.

The Release Of Feel-Good Hormones And Its Impact On Our Relationship

When we engage in physical touch with our romantic partner, our brain releases oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin – collectively known as the “feel-good hormones.” These hormones not only make us feel good but also have a positive impact on our relationship.

Oxytocin, in particular, is responsible for creating a sense of bonding and attachment between partners. It helps us feel safe and secure with our partner, which is essential for building trust and intimacy in a relationship. Oxytocin also plays a role in enhancing communication between partners, especially during arguments.

Dopamine, on the other hand, is associated with pleasure and reward. When we engage in physical touch with our partner, dopamine is released, making us feel rewarded and satisfied. This reinforces the behavior of physical touch and encourages us to continue engaging in it.


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Serotonin is another hormone that is released during physical touch. It helps to regulate mood and reduce stress levels, making us feel more relaxed and content in our relationship.

The Importance Of Touch As A Love Language

Physical touch is a crucial aspect of expressing and receiving love for those whose primary love language is physical touch. It’s not just about sex, but rather the small gestures like holding hands, hugging, and cuddling that make them feel loved and appreciated. Without proper types or frequencies of touch, people who speak this love language can feel unloved and uncherished.

Studies have shown that physical touch plays a significant role in generating and enhancing love in relationships. People who receive more physical affection tend to feel more satisfied in their relationships. This is because touch is the first sense to develop, and it’s the primary means of providing love to a baby.

For those whose love language is physical touch, it’s important to communicate their needs to their partner and figure out what fills each other’s tanks. This could mean discussing the types of touch that make them feel loved and appreciated, as well as the frequency that works best for both parties.

As someone whose love language is physical touch, you may also feel comforted by textures and feelings beyond just your partner. Soft or fuzzy gifts from your partner could be the perfect way to fulfill a bit of your need for touch and feel cared for.

The Role Of Touch In Building Intimacy And Connection

Physical touch plays a crucial role in building intimacy and connection within interpersonal relationships. Oxytocin, also known as the “love hormone,” is released during physical touch and promotes feelings of connection and relaxation while reducing stress hormones like cortisol and norepinephrine. This hormone stimulates the release of other feel-good hormones, such as dopamine and serotonin, which help build intimacy.


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Research has shown that touch is an essential way of communicating emotions to others and can help maintain a meaningful connection between partners. In fact, Masters and Johnson found that simply encouraging more touch was sometimes enough to solve a couple’s sexual problems.

Affectionate touch is an important behavior in close relationships throughout the lifespan. Studies have investigated the relational and individual psychological and physical benefits of affectionate touch, showing that perceived partner responsiveness forecasts affectionate touch in romantic couples. Furthermore, affectionate touch can even forecast the partner’s perception of the touch-giver’s responsiveness the next day.

In long-term relationships, desire can fade over time due to various factors like stress, work, familiarity, and predictability. However, physical touch can help reignite desire by creating a psychological space where partners can engage completely with themselves and become selfish in the best sense of the word. This means being fully available for oneself during intimacy, including physical needs, sexual needs, and fantasies.

How To Communicate Your Need For Touch To Your Partner

If physical touch is important to you in your relationship, it’s essential to communicate that need to your partner. Here are some tips on how to do so effectively:

1. Begin the conversation positively: Start by sharing something you appreciate about your partner and the relationship. This will help set a positive tone for the conversation and make it easier for your partner to listen.

2. Use “I” statements: When expressing your need for touch, use “I” statements instead of “you” statements. For example, instead of saying “You never touch me,” try saying “I feel really loved and connected when we touch.”


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3. Be specific: Explain what kinds of touch you enjoy and what makes you feel loved and connected. This may include holding hands, cuddling, or other physical gestures.

4. Ask for what you need: Don’t be afraid to ask your partner for more physical touch if it’s something that’s important to you. Be clear about what you need and how often you need it.

5. Be open to compromise: It’s important to remember that everyone has different needs when it comes to physical touch. Be open to finding a compromise that works for both you and your partner.

6. Seek professional help if needed: If you’re having trouble communicating your need for touch or if there are deeper issues at play, consider seeking the help of a relationship counselor or therapist.

Remember, communication is key in any relationship, and expressing your needs in a clear and respectful way is essential for building a strong and healthy connection with your partner.

Understanding Boundaries: Respecting Your Partner’s Personal Space

While physical touch is important in a relationship, it’s equally important to respect your partner’s personal space and boundaries. Just because you want to touch your boyfriend doesn’t mean he always wants to be touched. It’s important to communicate with your partner and understand their boundaries.


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Respecting your partner’s personal space means understanding when they need time alone or space to themselves. It’s important not to take it personally if your partner asks for space, as it doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t love or care for you. In fact, respecting your partner’s need for space can actually strengthen the relationship by allowing each person to have their own time and interests.

It’s also important to communicate your own boundaries and personal needs to your partner. If there are certain types of physical touch that make you uncomfortable, it’s okay to say no and communicate that to your partner. Similarly, if you need time alone or have certain interests that you enjoy doing on your own, it’s important to communicate that as well.

Understanding and respecting each other’s boundaries can help prevent conflicts and misunderstandings in the relationship. It shows that you value and respect each other as individuals, while still maintaining a strong bond as a couple.