How To Be Nicer To My Husband

Everyone tells you that marriage is hard work before you get married. I didn’t believe it until my husband and I went to counseling after four years, two children, and one traumatic cross-country move. It turns out that you can’t just put love on autopilot and expect it to take care of itself; you have to put in the time and effort to understand and appreciate your partner. Anyone who has been married understands that it isn’t always easy. Here’s what relationship research (along with a dash of game theory) has to say about how to improve your marriage.

#1 Try to be kind as much as possible. A lot of modern relationship therapy is based on John Gottman’s research, who is known for videotaping thousands of couples and deconstructing their interactions into measurable data. Happier couples had a ratio of five pleasant exchanges to every negative interaction, according to one of his most clear findings. “He responds, “That just leaped off the pages of the data analysis.” It held true in a wide range of partnerships, including ones in which the partners were highly autonomous and even distant or acrimonious. It is not necessary for these good interactions to be spectacular gestures: “Smiles, head nods, and even grunting to signal you’re paying attention to your spouse are all great,” Gottman explains.

#2 Even when you’re fighting, think about what your partner needs. Gottman claims that game theory—the study of conflict and decision-making applied in political science, sociology, and economics—can help us resolve conflicts. It was once widely assumed that most talks were zero-sum, meaning that one party’s gain was the other’s loss. In 1950, mathematician John Nash demonstrated that there was a better outcome: a solution in which the parties may have to compromise, but everyone is satisfied in the end. (This now well-known phrase) “In 1994, he was awarded the Nobel Prize for “Nash equilibrium.”) I’m reminded of a recent incident in my own marriage: my husband despised the house we bought a few years ago and wanted to relocate; I liked the place fine and had no desire to relocate. We came to the conclusion after much deliberation that what we both genuinely want is to settle down somewhere for the long haul. If my spouse doesn’t feel he can settle in in his current home, I won’t be able to do so either. So, for the sake of both of us, we’re moving next month! You’ll both get your wants met if you can find the Nash equilibrium in your conflict.

#3 Just pay attention to them. “People are constantly attempting to pique their partners’ interest and attention,” Gottman explains. He discovered in his research that couples who stay happy (at least for the first seven years) pick up on these indications for attention and respond to them 86 percent of the time. Divorced couples were found to be 33 percent of the time. “It’s when we choose to listen to our partner moan about a horrible day rather than returning to our TV show,” says Dana R. Baerger, assistant professor of clinical psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine. “We have the option of connecting with our partner or turning away in any connection. Even in the absence of overt dispute, if we continuously turn away, the foundation of the marriage can steadily crumble.”

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How do I stop being so critical of my husband?

Here are six things to try if you want to stop being critical of your husband!

I’m sure you’re well aware of this – and you’d never want someone to hold you to a higher standard.

Because you know him better than anybody else, all of his flaws and qualities appear to be amplified. The problem arises when you focus on his flaws rather than affirming his qualities.

I’ve found Luke 6:31 to be useful in my own marriage: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

I shouldn’t do the same to him unless I want my husband to scrutinize every word, emotion, and decision I make (which I surely don’t want!).

We may be completely justified in our criticisms at times. Our grievances could be completely justified.

But, as wives, we often overlook the fact that our critical scrutiny eats away at our marriage like cancer. Because we’re too focused on and moaning about the negative aspects of marriage, we’re less inclined to notice the truly positive aspects.

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Use these simple techniques to revive your husband’s love for you, and make him devoted to you again!

When we don’t keep a close eye on our thoughts and words, our complaints grow like weeds.

If you realize you have a propensity to criticize your husband and want to change, here are six things to try when you want to quit criticizing him:

Remember your own flaws.

Stop and remind yourself that you’re not the picture of perfection whenever you’re inclined to be critical. When you’re thinking about your flaws, remember to give your husband some grace. You’re two flawed people trying to make the best of a bad situation.

If some of his decisions make you feel like you’re going insane, realize that you don’t always make the best judgments, either. Hopefully, your husband will not point out all of your flaws.

While it may be difficult not to say anything, try to see things through your husband’s eyes.

If necessary, pray for the strength to refrain from interfering with your work “a “perfect” answer or piece of advise As Psalm 141:3 so aptly puts it, “Set a watch on my mouth, O LORD; keep an eye on the door of my lips!” (Last week, I asked that God would kindly put a muzzle on my lips when I felt tempted to talk entirely too much.) He had done so.)

What is the sweetest thing to say to your husband?

FREE GUIDE: Healing Your Marriage

Use these simple techniques to revive your husband’s love for you, and make him devoted to you again!

The loveliest things to say to your hubby are listed here. Hey, Baby, it’s only your smile that brightens my day. I’m not sure I could have come up with someone as lovely as you if I had the ability to create my own man. Your hug is my home, and your smile is happiness.

What do husbands want from their wives?

Not simply sex, but more physical tenderness and touch from their wives are desired by husbands. So snuggle close to him while watching TV, greet him with a huge embrace and kiss, a back rub, or some foreplay. Start the sex! Make an effort to show him physical affection on a regular basis. Men want their spouses to want them. Husbands want to know if their wives are sexually attracted to them and just look at them. When a husband feels sexually rejected, he believes that his wife is rejecting him not only physically, but also as a husband, provider, and man. This is why it’s critical to make sex a priority in your marriage!

How do I stop criticizing my wife?

If someone’s behavior consistently disappoints you, it’s time to change your expectations. If you don’t, you’ll be frustrated for the rest of your life. I can’t force my husband pick up his socks, but I can modify my mindset so that I either accept it or don’t get annoyed when I see them on the floor.

Look for the positives.

Look for those who are doing the “correct” thing and congratulate them frequently. According to research, it takes five good interactions to undo the effects of one negative interaction.

Don’t take his/her behavior personally.

People make mistakes, become exhausted, and become overly devoted. Your friend’s or family member’s behavior could be due to a variety of factors that have nothing to do with you. Instead of assuming the worst, try to assume the best about someone’s choices.

Consider whether you need to say anything at all.

The old adage “If you don’t have anything good to say, don’t say anything at all” holds some truth. Sometimes the wisest option is to remain silent. Leave the room, take a few slow deep breaths, and relax before deciding whether or not to say anything.

Ask directly and respectfully for what you want.

FREE GUIDE: Healing Your Marriage

Use these simple techniques to revive your husband’s love for you, and make him devoted to you again!

You won’t always get what you ask for, but when you ask in a way that will be heard, your needs are far more likely to be met. Instead of berating your wife for leaving dirty dishes, politely request that she wash them and explain why it is so important to you.

Manage your own anxiety and stress.

As I have stated, criticism isn’t always directed at others. You can lessen your criticizing by using a variety of techniques to manage your anxiety and other moods, such as counseling, meditation, exercise, journaling, nutrition, or medication.

I admire your willingness to improve, and I hope that these suggestions for how to quit criticizing will help you get started. Thank you for taking the time to read this! I invite you to follow me on Facebook and Twitter for additional articles and mental health advice.

What makes a man happy in marriage?

Chethik explained, “Simply being in a relationship and being devoted to it, just turning up every day is a statement of love.” So, in a marriage, what makes a man happy? “Acceptance and gratitude. And it’s crucial for a man to know that he’s making a positive difference in your life “he stated

What makes a husband happy?

In the same way, be sure to let him know when he offends you in a tactful manner and maintain strong, open lines of communication.

Communication between the sexes isn’t always simple, but keep in mind that when it comes to how they feel, women and men are more alike than different. Even if they communicate in different ways, it is critical to try to find a happy medium and work from there. Before moving on in the conversation, make sure you’re both understanding what the other person is saying. When it comes to making mutual decisions as a pair, this is crucial.

FREE GUIDE: Healing Your Marriage

Use these simple techniques to revive your husband’s love for you, and make him devoted to you again!

When a happy spouse doesn’t feel like he’s blending in or that he’s a fixture in the house, he’ll be even happier.

Do everything you can to show him that he is not an obligation, a routine, or a pattern in your life, but rather the love of your life, your life partner, and that he matters to you today, tomorrow, and forever. Make the most of your specific abilities as a wife to help your husband shine. Enjoy the affection you have for each other. Laugh together, weep together, and never stop doing ridiculous, absurd, or humorous things with your friends.

How do I start a flirty conversation with my husband?

Do you recall the beginnings of your relationship with your partner? If you’re like me, a meaningful gaze, flirting statement, or, in my case, the most attractive guy I’d ever met knocking on my door bearing Belgian chocolate chip ice cream and asking if he could pray with me would make your heart flutter! Those fluttery feelings are a distant memory after years of marriage, children, busy jobs, and hectic schedules. That doesn’t mean we can’t be romantic; it just means we set it down in our distraction and need to take it up again.

I was feeling a little romantic one night while my husband, Mark, and I were traveling home. Because he was driving, I had complete control over the music, so I chose a Tony Bennett song that we both enjoy. It’s amazing how changing a playlist can turn a boring car ride into a romantic and joyful (or amusing if you could see us singing) sing-along serenade.

One of the finest advantages of being married is constantly having someone to flirt with, because flirting is just turning regular times into amazing moments. Unfortunately, in the midst of our busy, preoccupied lives, we sometimes forget that.

So here are ten methods to flirt with your husband to elevate the mundane moments in your life together:

How To Capture His Heart And Make Him Fall For You

Here’s what we’ve realized after so many years of experience as dating coaches:

It’s really easy to make men fall for you once you know the “cheat code”.

See, most women don’t really know how men think, and why they act the way they do…

In fact, they go through their whole life never meeting the perfect guy who treats them right.

Don’t let this be you!

We’ve taught thousands of girls around the world the special “cheat code” to a man’s heart.

Once you learn the truth about how the male mind works, you can make any man fall in love with you.

Here’s how it works:

There are special tricks you can use to target the “emotional triggers” inside his mind.

If you use them the right way, he will start to feel a deep desire for you, and forget about any other woman in his life…

The best part? These techniques are based on psychology, so they work on any man, no matter how old you are or what you look like.

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Use these easy techniques to “lock-in” a man’s commitment to you, and to make him love you FOREVER!

As women, we understand how you feel.

But no matter what other people say, always remember:

You are an AMAZING woman…

And you deserve an amazing man who loves you, respects you and treats you special.

So start using these special techniques today, and see how quickly men fall in love with you immediately!


Use these easy techniques to “lock-in” a man’s commitment to you, and to make him love you FOREVER!

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