Why Am I So Clingy To My Boyfriend

It’s natural to want to spend as much time as possible with the person you’re dating and learn everything you can about them, especially while things are fresh and exciting, but it’s also easy to go too far and need to take a step back.

“It’s frequently caused by emotions of insecurity, self-doubt, or fear about the future,” she explained. “Clinginess can be exacerbated by a lack of trust in one’s partner. The prospect of being alone might be unsettling for some people, so they may cling to others to prevent feeling lonely.”

But what’s the difference between being anxiously attached to your lover and taking comfort in them? How can you tell if you’re suffering from emotional neediness and rejection sensitivity rather than simply being madly in love? There are a few quick and easy symptoms, according to O’Neill. “You have trouble being alone, you struggle when your friends or partner ask for space, and you’re frightened that people may want to spend time without you,” she explained.

Extreme thoughts and acts appear and feel a lot like love and intimacy to persons who are clingy, and they don’t want to let a good thing go. The issue is that this sensation—an fixation with physical and mental intimacy that can appear clingy—is not love.

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Why am I so clingy to my partner?

While it’s tempting to dismiss it as a personality trait, that isn’t always the case. Clinginess can be triggered by a number of factors.

Low self-esteem or insecurity are frequently to blame. Expressing a great desire for attention can be a sign that you’re afraid your spouse won’t like you or will leave. This could be a general problem that this person has had for a long time, or it could be the result of a specific relationship incident in the past, such as a partner cheating on them or breaking things up without warning.

It could also be a result of attachment types that were learned earlier in life. Our attachment style outlines how we relate to others and build relationships with them. Within relationships, different attachment types result in different sets of behaviors. An anxious insecure attachment style is characterized by a persistent desire for reassurance.

It could also indicate that you and your partner have opposing views on how much affection and attention you seek in a relationship. What you may perceive as clinginess, they may perceive as a fair request to have their needs satisfied.

Can being clingy ruin a relationship?

Many of us, especially in the start of a new relationship, are clingy. When everything is new and thrilling, and you can’t wait to see each other again. While clinginess may have been “acceptable” in a previous relationship, being overly needy is typically regarded as a bad dating behavior.

How do I stop being needy and clingy in a relationship?

Clinginess might stem from a lack of trust in some people. Consider where those trust difficulties originated and what you might do to resolve them… or at the very least, enhance them.

While having a trustworthy partner can be extremely beneficial in conquering these challenges, you must do the work, not them.

Seek advice and guidance from a professional.

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Everyone can modify their behavior, but it is generally easier and faster when a professional is involved. In your instance, you must control your clingy behavior while also attempting to identify and address the underlying problems.

We recommend Relationship Hero’s therapy services for this. You can connect with and speak with an expert who regularly deals with problems similar to yours. They’ll be able to direct you, offer specific ideas and ways to attempt, and encourage you to keep going when things become tough. You can communicate with someone over the internet from the comfort of your own home.

Don’t think about the ‘what ifs’

Have you ever found yourself lost in a ‘what if’ black hole while your boyfriend is out having a drink with pals while you’re at home?

You begin to ponder, “What if he meets another girl?” you might wonder. alternatively, “What if she decides she no longer wants me…?”

To be honest, anything might happen, and you have no control over the future, but it’s pointless to feel sad about hypothetical events that are highly unlikely to occur.

You can worry about them later if they do, but for now, focus on and appreciate the positive aspects of your relationship.

Start a new hobby

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When you’re in a pottery class and your phone is safely stored away, it’s easy not to think about checking it. You’ll be so absorbed in what you’re doing with your hands (not to mention the shambles you’d make if you tried to check it) that you won’t notice.

Is Clinginess a turn off?

  • Researchers interviewed over 1,400 people and discovered a total of 78 issues.
  • In Greece and China, a survey was conducted among couples in their late twenties and early thirties.

How do I know if I’m being too needy?

Another indicator of being excessively needy is being unable to make simple decisions without consulting your partner first. People require space, and depriving them of that space creates a poisonous environment that generally drives people away.”

How do I tell my boyfriend he’s too clingy?

If you believe your partner is deserving of your time and effort, try to address his deep-seated anxieties that drive him to be so needy. Be there for him when he needs you, and shower him with your love and gratitude. Warning: You may have just agreed to be his lifelong advisor.

Tell your partner that you need your space in no uncertain terms. Make him understand that, while you appreciate all of his affection, you still want to hang out with your friends without him constantly accompanying you. Tell him you’re feeling suffocated.

Encourage him to spend time with his own pals. Make ‘dates’ with his guy group or surprise him with tickets to a cricket match with his pals. If all else fails, get him the most up-to-date gadget, which will hopefully be more interesting than you!

Just because he’s clinging doesn’t rule out the possibility of a long-term relationship. However, in order for this to succeed, you must convince him that his neediness is driving you away. He must appreciate your autonomy, personal space, and the fact that your life does not revolve around him. Make it clear from the start that you will not tolerate intrusion into your personal space.

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Before you go off on him for being overly needy, ask yourself if he is truly as needy as you believe he is, or if you find him so irritating because you aren’t really into him. Are you irritated by his presence to the point where you can’t stand spending time with him? If that’s the case, treat him fairly and end the relationship.

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