Why Do I Cry When My Boyfriend Leaves

It’s common knowledge that being separated from your significant other is unpleasant. Long-term separation from a love partner has been linked to increased anxiety and despair, as well as issues like sleep disruptions, according to studies based on anecdotal evidence. Researchers are now trying to figure out what neurochemical pathways are causing these behavioral and physiological changes.

Researchers found that male prairie voles who were separated from their female spouses for four days exhibited depression-like behavior and had elevated levels of corticosterone, the rodent analogue of the human stress hormone cortisol, in a study published last October. Males that had been separated from their male siblings showed none of these symptoms, showing that the reaction was specific to mate separation rather than social isolation. When the rats were given a medication that stopped corticosterone release, they no longer displayed depressive-like behavior after companion separation, proving that stress hormones were to blame.

Separation looks to be similar to drug withdrawal in many respects. Cohabiting and mating enhance levels of oxytocin and vasopressin—hormones that build emotional attachments—and activate reward-related brain areas in monogamous animals, according to studies. As a result, when prairie voles are removed from their spouses, even for a short period, they exhibit withdrawal-like symptoms, according to Larry Young, a behavioral neuroscientist at Emory University’s Yerkes National Primate Research Center and research co-author. “I believe it causes an unpleasant state in the short term,” Young adds, “such that the animals desire to seek out their mate to keep that link together.”

After four to seven days apart, social psychologist Lisa Diamond of the University of Utah noted modest withdrawal-like symptoms, such as irritation and sleep disruptions, as well as an increase in cortisol in individuals in a recent research of human couples. Cortisol levels spiked the most in participants who expressed high concern about their relationships, but even those who reported low levels of stress and anxiety during the separation had some degree of heightened cortisol and physical pain. These findings, like those of Young’s study, show a direct correlation between separation and elevated cortisol, hinting that cortisol-blocking medicines could help persons dealing with partner separation as well.

Before You Continue…

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How can I stop being sad when my boyfriend is away?

General advice for every circumstance

  • Make sure you look after yourself. It’s just as crucial to tend to mental wounds as it is to treat physical ones.

Is it normal to lose feelings in a long distance relationship?

When a long-distance relationship lasts a long time, it’s natural for things to become monotonous at times. Your long-distance relationship may lose interest in either you or your partner.

The most important thing is to figure out why you or your companion is losing interest. You should strive to find a means to be together if one of you is losing interest in maintaining your long-distance relationship.

If, on the other hand, one of you no longer feels the same way about you or has developed affections for someone else, it would be healthier to stop your relationship.

You should end your long-distance relationship together if you desire to do so. It also doesn’t have to be all grief and anguish. If you enjoy each other as individuals, you can be long-distance friends, for example.

If you have a problem with needing to be physically close to someone else yet are unable to see each other, you may want to pursue an open long-distance relationship.

Whatever you decide, as long as you do it together and respect each other, you’ll be able to come up with the greatest answer for both of you.

Why do I feel anxious when my boyfriend leaves?

When a boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse/parent goes away for a period of time, such as on a vacation or business trip, some adults may experience mild worry or panic. This reaction is part of our fight-flight-freeze system, which is designed to protect us from threats and danger, and it can be beneficial in modest quantities.

Is separation anxiety bad in a relationship?


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Separation anxiety makes it tough to be apart from your loved ones, especially your partner. It can create a variety of symptoms and have a negative impact on your mental health and relationships.

Yoga and meditation, as well as keeping yourself engaged in important activities, can help you manage your anxiety. However, Hanson believes that understanding why these symptoms arise and addressing the deeper layers—including processing any unresolved trauma—is the only way to really heal from separation anxiety.

“‘Earned secure attachment’ is the term for this phenomena. To put it another way, you have to work for it and earn it, but once you do, life, love, and relationships become a whole lot more joyful,” Hanson says.

How do I stop missing my boyfriend so much?

It’s always a misery to have a craving for your lover, no matter what the situation is. There are things you can do to help yourself if you find yourself continuously missing your boyfriend, or even occasionally missing your boyfriend. Try these few activities the next time you really miss your lover instead of obsessing on the pain, unfairness, or general longing.

What are red flags in a long distance relationship?

“You should be concerned if your spouse never has time to meet up with you,” Johns-Carter told INSIDER. “It’s a red signal if they always have an explanation for why they can’t meet up on weekends or even for a few minutes if you’re just passing through town.”

When to call it quits in a long distance relationship?

When your long-distance relationship is unhealthy, unresolved problems build, and you feel emotionally overwhelmed, it’s time to call it quits. It’s advisable to end your long-distance relationship when it becomes poisonous.


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If you’re thinking of ending your long-distance relationship, do it slowly. Instead, spend a week getting in touch with your emotions and thoughts.

Talk to your lover once you’ve pondered about your relationship. As simply and honestly as you can, express your views, worries, and concerns. Allow your spouse time to comprehend what you’ve said and listen to what they have to say.

You’ll be able to make a better decision that benefits both of you if you get everything out in the open.

Whatever decision you make, you’ll know that you’re not the type to avoid problems. Instead, you are the one who must confront them and figure out how to best deal with the situation.

This method will benefit you in your future relationships as well as in your everyday life.

All you can think about when you’re desperate to end your relationship is breaking up and moving on. You’ve lost the ability to think about your partner’s sentiments. While this is reasonable, it will leave them hurt and insecure.


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It’s difficult to pick yourself up and be ready for a new relationship after being hurt. Furthermore, until you recognize what went wrong in your previous relationship, you are likely to bring similar issues into your next one.

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