How To Tell Your Boyfriend You Want A Break

It’s exhilarating in the beginning. You can’t wait to see your BF or GF, and it’s wonderful to know that he or she shares your enthusiasm. Everything else might be overshadowed by the exhilaration and excitement of a new relationship.

But nothing is ever truly new. As couples grow to know one other better, things alter. Some people find themselves in a secure, close relationship. Other couples become estranged.

There are a variety of reasons why couples break up. One of them is growing apart. You may discover that your passions, ideas, values, and emotions aren’t as well matched as you believed. Another is to change your mind or feelings about the other individual. Maybe you just don’t like being in the same room with each other. It’s possible that you disagree or don’t desire the same thing. It’s possible that you’ve formed feelings for another person. Or perhaps you’ve realized that you’re not interested in being in a committed relationship right now.

Most people experience a breakup (or numerous breakups) at some point in their life. If you’ve ever gone through it, you know how difficult it can be, even if it appears to be for the best.

Before You Continue…

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Why Is Breaking Up So Hard to Do?

You may have conflicting feelings about breaking up with someone if you’re thinking about it. You got together for a cause, after all. As a result, it’s understandable to question, “Will things get better?” “Should I give it another chance?” says the narrator. “Will I come to regret my decision?” Breaking up is a difficult decision. It’s possible that you’ll need some time to consider it.

Even if you are certain in your decision, breaking up requires an awkward or tough talk. The person you’re breaking up with can be upset, disappointed, sad, rejected, or heartbroken as a result of your breakup. When it comes to ending a relationship, you probably want to do so in a respectful and considerate manner. You don’t want to hurt the other person, yet you also don’t want to be sad.

Avoid It? Or Get it Over With?

Some people try to avoid having to initiate a difficult conversation. Others have a “let’s just get it over with” mentality. However, neither of these ways is the most effective. Avoiding the problem only makes it worse (and may end up hurting the other person more). And rushing into a difficult conversation without thinking it through can lead to you saying something you later regret.

It’s advisable to go for something in the middle: Consider your options so you’re clear on why you want to end your relationship. Then take action.

Break-up Do’s and Don’ts

Every circumstance is unique. When it comes to breaking up, there is no one-size-fits-all solution. However, as you consider having that break-up talk, there are certain general “do’s and don’ts” to bear in mind.


  • Consider what you desire and why you desire it. Take some time to reflect on your emotions and the reasoning behind your decision. Be honest with yourself. It’s fine to do what’s best for you, even though the other person may suffer as a result of your decision. All you have to do now is do it with tact.
  • Consider what you’ll say and how you think the other person will react. Will your boyfriend or girlfriend be surprised? Sad? Mad? Hurt? Or perhaps even relieved? It can help you to be sensitive if you consider the other person’s point of view and feelings. It also aids in preparation. Do you believe the person with whom you’re breaking up will cry? Has he or she lost his or her cool? What are your plans for dealing with such a reaction?
  • Have the best of intentions. Make it clear to the other person that he or she is important to you. Consider the traits you wish to convey to the other person, such as honesty, kindness, sensitivity, respect, and compassion.
  • Be truthful, but not ruthless. Tell the other person what drew you to him or her in the first place, as well as what you admire about him or her. Then explain why you’d like to go on. “Honesty” does not imply “brutal.” Don’t use the attributes of the other person to explain why something isn’t working. Consider how you can be nice and kind while remaining truthful.
  • Say it out loud. You’ve done a lot of things together. Breaking up in person shows respect (and demonstrates your positive characteristics). If you live a long distance away, consider video chatting or at the very least making a phone call. It may appear like breaking up by text or Facebook is simple. Consider how you’d feel if your boyfriend or girlfriend did something like that to you, and what your friends would say about that person’s character.
  • Confide in someone you trust if it helps. Talking through your feelings with a good buddy might be beneficial. However, make sure the person you confide in can keep it private until you have your break-up chat with your boyfriend or girlfriend. Ensure that your BF/GF hears it from you first, rather than from someone else. That is one of the reasons why talking to parents, older sisters or brothers, and other adults might be beneficial. They’re not going to say anything or let it out by accident.


  • Don’t dodge the other person or the necessary talk. Dragging things out makes things worse for you and your BF or GF in the long term. Plus, when people procrastinate, information can leak out. You never want the person you’re breaking up with to hear about it from someone else before you tell them.
  • Don’t jump into a difficult talk without first considering your options. You may make mistakes that you later come to regret.
  • Don’t be impolite. Respectfully discuss your ex (or soon-to-be ex). Keep your mouth shut and don’t say anything negative about him or her. Consider how you’d react. You’d like your ex to just say good things about you after you’ve broken up. Plus, you never know when your ex will become a friend or if you will reignite a romance.

These “dos and don’ts” don’t apply only to breakups. If someone invites you out but you’re not truly interested, you can use the same techniques to politely reject them.

What to Say and How to Say It

You’ve decided to end your relationship. Now you only need to find a suitable time to chat — and a respectful, fair, straightforward, and kind manner to talk about it. Breakups entail more than just figuring out what to say. You should also think about how you’ll say it.


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Here are some ideas for what you could say. Use these suggestions and tweak them to meet your needs and personality:

“I’m sure there’s another girl/guy who’d love to go out with you,” or “I’m sure there’s another girl/guy who’d love to go out with you.”

  • Pay attention to what the other person is trying to communicate. Be patient, and don’t be surprised if the other person appears irritated or dissatisfied with your words.
  • Give the person some breathing room. Consider sending a kind message or having a friendly discussion to let your ex know you care about how he or she is doing.

Relationships Help Us Learn

Relationships can have distinct meaning and worth, whether they last a long time or a short period. Each connection has the potential to teach us something about ourselves, another person, and what we want and need in a potential mate. It’s an opportunity for us to learn how to care for others and to experience being cared for.

A breakup can also be an opportunity to learn. It’s not an easy task. It is, however, an opportunity to try your best to respect the feelings of others. As painful as it is to end a relationship, it improves our ability to be honest and kind during challenging conversations.

Is it OK to ask for a break in a relationship?

A break might help you find out why you’re unhappy in your relationship and whether or not there’s anything you can do about it. It’s critical that if you take a sabbatical for this reason, you tell your spouse about it.

If you’ve been unhappy in your relationship for a long time, there’s a good chance this break may lead to a split, which your spouse should be aware of.

It’s NOT a good idea to take a break if you just want to win a fight or have the upper hand.


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It’s never a good idea to ask your spouse to take a break in order to gain the upper hand in an argument or to indicate your partner that you’re considering ending your relationship.

The truth is that most breakups end in a breakup. And there’s a significant possibility you’ll break up if you decide to take a break.

How do you say you want a break in a relationship?

“We need to talk,” as everyone knows, is a harbinger of an unpleasant conversation to come, so don’t waste time. Don’t prolong the pain by listing all of the reasons and then concluding, “…so that’s why I think we should break up.” You are giving the person the false hope that you are still attempting to make things work during the entire explanation. Begin by being clear, and then, if required, go into the reasons why. For all you know, they’ve arrived to the same conclusion – and the talk is ended with a simple “Yes, I believe you’re correct.” You may say something like this:

  • “I’m not completely pleased in this relationship, and I believe it’s better if we break up.”

Is it normal to want to take a break in a relationship?

It’s perfectly acceptable to have some independence in a relationship, but it’s not a good sign if you’re attempting to establish a life entirely without them.

How long should a break in a relationship last?

Last but not least, let’s get to the most painful and time-consuming sort of relationship breakup: those triggered by major relationship issues.

Every couple has issues. It’s natural to have arguments with your partner, to feel misunderstood at times, and to not always receive what you want.


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However, in a relationship, there may come a period when nothing seems to be working.

We’d reached a point where we couldn’t agree on anything, we were constantly fighting, and we both felt misunderstood and alone.

It felt as if we were constantly slamming into an impenetrable barrier that was ripping us apart.

Gabriel and I have had THREE separate breaks due to major relationship issues (they were basically breakups just that we always decided to keep in touch with each other).

Despite the fact that Gabriel was the one who started all three of our ‘breakups,’ I was the one who insisted on their lasting longer.

I did it because I hoped that by spending more time apart, we’d come to some ground-breaking insights that would magically restore our relationship.


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Regrettably, this isn’t how things work. Relationship issues do not go away on their own…

All three of our relationship breakups lasted approximately a month, and in retrospect, I believe they were all unnecessarily long.

Too lengthy of a pause does nothing to help you develop a fresh perspective on things.

In actuality, making a break endure a long period just increases the chances of it being a real breakup.

As a result, I propose that a relationship break triggered by major relationship issues endure anywhere from one week to a month.

How do you know it’s time to take a break?

While some professionals believe that taking a break from your relationship is a good idea, there must be some ground rules in place, as well as an understanding of what the break entails, how long it should last, and what you want to achieve by doing so. You don’t want to get into the habit of taking breaks over and over again as a way to remedy problems that you haven’t attempted to fix during previous breaks.


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So, are you all set? Do you want to give it a shot? Here are seven indicators that it’s time to end your relationship.

Does taking a break mean you’re single?

Taking a break does, in fact, imply that you are single. A break is a period of non-exclusive separation from your partner during which you are free to date other individuals. A break is frequently used as a soft step to splitting up with your relationship.

When you go on a break with your girlfriend or boyfriend, there are a lot of difficulties and questions that come up.

Is it OK to break up over text?

It’s preferable to break up with someone face to face or over the phone, yet this isn’t always possible or the best option. Here are some situations where breaking up by SMS might be preferable:

  • If it’s a one-night stand. Breaking up through text can be acceptable if you haven’t been on many dates or have only gone out for a drink once in a while. “The first time I was dumped was by text after one date — I was 13 and they stopped things because I didn’t put ‘love you’ at the end of my texts,” Jack, 20, recalls clearly. I thought it was absurd because I was clearly not in love after just one date, and they thought it was absurd that I didn’t love them after only one date. They didn’t think Star Wars was funny, so it was never going to work.” (Jack insists that he has moved on and is unconcerned about it.) He swears a lot.)
  • If you won’t be seeing them for a time. Stringing them along until you next see them can be cruel and a waste of everyone’s time if you’re confined at home or apart for a long time.
  • If the situation is too stressful. If the idea of breaking up with someone in person stresses you out to the point where it all feels a little too much, breaking up by text is a totally realistic option. This allows you to gather your thoughts and prepare your remarks.
  • If you’re thinking about ghosting. You shouldn’t be ghosting someone unless you’re a small old lady from the Victorian era or a lovely person named Casper. It’s impolite, it makes you appear untrustworthy, and it’s akin to being in quarantine, where no one knows what’s going on. It takes less than 5 minutes to let them know you’re not dead and that you simply don’t want to hang out with them any longer. Remember that breaking up with someone by text is a tricky situation. We’ve all been on the receiving end of a message like this, so put your empathic slippers on and step cautiously when breaking up through text.

How do you text break up?

  • To be honest, it’s been a lot of fun hanging out with you lately, but I don’t think we’re destined to be together.
  • I just wanted to say how much I loved our conversation and how much I would like to meet you again, but only as friends.

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