When Your Guy Friend Says “I Love You”: What It Really Means

Has this ever happened to you?

You’re friends with a guy, and you get along very well…

But one day, he suddenly says those 3 words to you.

It can be a very shocking thing for a girl to hear, especially from a friend.

After all, these are very special words, and it’s usually reserved for those closest to us.

Right away, your mind will be filled with thoughts like:

“Does he really mean it?”

“What does this mean about our friendship?”

“What should I say to him?”

It’s a lot to take in! And trust us – We understand how you feel.

As international dating and relationship coaches, we’re experts in figuring out these tricky situations.

In this article, you’ll discover what it REALLY means when a guy friend says “I love you”, and how you should react to it.

Why Is He Saying I Love You If You’re Not Dating?

Falling in love is very special. You are not meant to go around and say I love you to people you don’t even know, right?

So what does it mean when your guy friend says “I love you” if you’re not dating?

Here are some reasons why this might happen:

1. Confusing Infatuation With Love

It happens with a lot of people. They think that they are in love with someone, but they are really just in love with the idea of being in love.

When you are infatuated with someone, you feel euphoric when you are together. And when you are apart you can’t wait to see them again. You may even obsess over the thought of being with this person 24/7.

But by doing so, you are confusing infatuation with love.

Infatuation is a powerful and fleeting state of mind.

It can be many things: excitement, desire, lust, infatuation… these are just some possibilities. But it always has to do with the people involved and their feeling toward each other. Infatuation is not love.

On the other hand, love is something that lasts for life – Not just a few weeks or months of time.

So if your guy friend says “I love you” out of the blue, it could just be a case of infatuation.

Make sure to understand what your guy friend’s intentions are before assuming anything about what he wants from you.

2. He Just Meant It As A Friend

Sometimes, the guy might think of you as a dear friend, and he really doesn’t see you as more than that.

The truth is: Some people use the word “love” a lot more often than others. And to them, it rolls off the tongue a lot easier.

Your guy friend may be expressing his love for you as a casual statement, not as a romantic declaration. This may happen because he simply doesn’t know how serious “I love you” sounds like, and thought this would be an appropriate way to show you how much he cares about you.

3. It Was An Impulsive Act Done In The Moment

People sometimes confuse their other emotions with love. When people get excited or thrilled over someone, it is sometimes mistaken for love.

Perhaps he was feeling really joyful and happy with you at that moment, and he just wanted to express the way he felt.

Sometimes, you can get really giddy or excited about someone… And you might say “I love you” without thinking about it.

Of course, the fact that you are friends with this person matters more than anything else. Because if he is your friend, you’d assume that he does not want to be in any kind of romantic relationship with you…

But as we all know, guys are great at hiding their feelings. So it may be the case too that he secretly had a crush on you all this time.

4. He Said It To Sleep With You

This is probably the most common reason guys say “I love you” to their female friends.

It goes like this: You two are just getting along really well and hanging out together, and then one day he says those 3 words to you.

And you’re left thinking: “WOW, he likes me!”

Then, there’s a moment of blissful ignorance – You feel your heart fluttering with excitement, and your body flushes with a warm glow…

But the truth is: He could simply be trying to sleep with you.

Because you’re already friends, it’s easy for him to see you as an “easy target”. And in an attempt to woo you, he may be saying those 3 words so he could have a better chance with you.

This can actually be very dangerous because you’d usually believe that what he is saying is really genuine.

And if you both end up sleeping together, it would be an awful experience for both of you, especially if it’s a one-night stand. And your friendship might also suffer as a result because now there’s no going back after you slept together.

Of course, there’s always the possibility that he actually meant it too…

5. He Actually Loves You

A guy can fall in love even without knowing why he suddenly felt this way. He may not even be aware that he has suddenly developed these feelings for you.

And when he says “I love you”, he may actually mean it. It might be a true and honest expression of his deepest feelings.

He could be in love with you even without realizing that this is what has happened to him. This can happen to anyone, no matter who you are.

What To Do If A Guy Friend Says “I Love You”?

A guy friend saying “I love you” may cause a lot of confusion if you’re not used to hearing these words spoken by friends, and you’re accustomed to being “just friends” with him.

How you respond to a proposal is totally up to you, but knowing what to do is the key.

Here are a few things to consider when your guy friend says “I love you”, and how to respond:

1. If You Don’t Love Him

If you don’t have any kind of affection for him, then don’t lie about it. Saying that is just going to lead to more confusion than anything.

It might sound blunt and harsh, but it’s best to just let him know: “Thanks, but no thanks.” and hope that he doesn’t press you any further.

Keep in mind that this is a friend and it was extremely risky for him to make such a bold statement.

So do it gently, but be honest with him. This way, you will avoid a lot of unnecessary drama down the road.

2. When You Are Not Sure

If there is even the slightest possibility that you might really like him, then you want to react in a positive way to him, but don’t jump in right away.

That’s why your best move is NOT to rush out and say “I love you.” Try things out. See if you’re compatible as lovers.

If you both like each other and care about each other, then you will know for sure in a short while

If this guy really loves you, he will wait it out until you get a feel for him. He will understand and respect your feelings and respect your desire to be alone to ponder things over.

If it takes more than a few dates with your guy friend to know if he’s worth knowing, then don’t say “I love you” back to him right away – Just let things naturally develop!

3. If You Love Him Too

If you actually feel the same about him, then don’t be afraid to show him that his feelings are reciprocated.

You can try taking it one step further and show him you value your relationship. Tell him how much he means to you, or if you are not yet prepared to do that, then try telling him “I feel the same way” or “I really like you too.”

If this guy is the right person for you, then he will be happy to hear it. He will probably act differently around you and be more affectionate towards you than before.

Will A Guy Tell You He Loves You If He Doesn’t Mean It?

Yes, a guy can tell you he loves you even if he doesn’t actually mean it.

After all, saying these words doesn’t necessarily mean he wants to commit to you, or that he’s in love with you.

And while there are some who exclaim that they want to marry their “future wife,” others may just be saying this on the spur of the moment without thinking too much about what they’re doing.

So here are a few tips to follow if a guy says “I love you” but you’re not dating:

1. Don’t Jump In Right Away

If this guy is saying I love you too quickly, there’s a good chance that he doesn’t really mean it.

In general, it takes a lot of strength for a guy to say those three words. So when a guy drops the L-bomb, he means it pretty much from the bottom of his heart.

However, in many cases, guys say these words even before they’ve really thought it through.

In any case, you should avoid jumping into a relationship right away.

Remember that it’s not unusual for men to be really into you and say they love you when they’re “on the rebound” from an earlier relationship, or when they’re just bored and want someone to bond with.

2. Love Takes Time

If he says I love you too early, even before you’ve started dating, chances are there’s something wrong with this whole thing.

It’s normal for guys to have to go through a few “phases” during which they may say they love you, but don’t really mean it.

It takes time for us to be sure that the feeling of love is real — And this is perfectly normal.

So be skeptical when a guy says “I love you” out of the blue if you’re not dating. It takes time for true love to develop.

3. Is He Acting On Impulse?

If he has ‘fallen in love’ with you too quickly after meeting you, he’s probably just acting impulsively.

Sure, he might feel very passionate in the moment. But these impulsive feelings do fade, and he might decide to move on, simply because he is not ready to put in the effort that love requires.

In this case, his heart may not actually be in it. And if this is the case, it shows that he’s very shallow and you should move on as soon as possible.

This is a good indication that his feelings don’t run deep and that a true love between a man and a woman can’t develop overnight. So you should probably not considering going out with him at this time.

How Do You Test A Guy To See If He Really Loves You?

Now for the age old question: How can you find out if a guy truly loves you?

This is especially difficult with male friends, since you’re used to being platonic with each other, and it’s hard to get them to really open up their personal side to you.

The key is to tap into their emotional side, and look at his ACTIONS rather than his words. Here are a few tips on how to do it:

1. Become Unavailable For A While

A guy who is in love with you will always try to be with you as much as possible.

But if you stop seeing him and acted disinterested for a while, he will start to miss you.

He will think about why you’re pulling away. And then he will realize just how much he needs you in his life.

2. Does He Share His Feelings With You?

When a guy loves you, he will naturally feel a desire to share his emotional side with you, be it joy, feelings of sadness or gratitude.

It’s a sign that he wants to form an emotional connection with you.

As a response, all you have to do is share your innermost thoughts with him. Tell him what you’re feeling, and share your emotions with him too.

This is also a great way to encourage him to open up to you about how he truly feels about you in an honest way.

3. Invite Him To Meet Your Friends And Family 

Someone who is in love with you will always want to be around you. He wants to become a bigger part of your life.

So if you want to get a better idea of how he feels about you, invite him to meet your friends or family, and see how he reacts.

If he seems eager and happy to meet the people in your life, it’s a sign that he feels a strong connection to you and wants to be with you.

4. Ask Him For A Favor

Here’s a great way to test if a guy loves you:

Ask him to do something for you. And watch how he reacts.

It doesn’t matter whether he actually manages to help you. The important part his how he responds to your request.

A guy who loves you will do anything he can to make your life better. And even if he can’t assist you, he will show a lot of sympathy and support for you.

5. How Does He Behave After A Fight?

Put yourself in his shoes:

Let’s assume that he truly loves you. If you get mad at him, he should drop his ego, and strive to make you happy to show you how much he loves you.

He probably will become more understanding of you, and even become more caring and considerate after the fight.

Do Guys Say “I Love You” To Female Friends?

In general, guys will NEVER say “I love you” to female friends, unless there is an underlying reason to do so.

It sounds crazy, but those 3 words can be anything from a grand gesture of intimacy, to a mean joke.

Yes – Believe it or not, guys can jokingly say I love you. Guys can sometimes do this to test you or to tease you, because he knows it is a sensitive topic.

So to protect yourself from a potentially embarrassing situation, here are a few guidelines to follow:

1. Don’t Jump To Conclusions

Instead of falling for his words, start by thinking about all the time you’ve spent with him…

Has there ever been an instance when he has given you any indication that he loves you? Has he used the sentence “I love you” before? If so, did he mean it seriously or was it just for fun? Did he ever do anything that can show his feeling for you?

Try to replay all the instances in your mind. These are the things that will help you understand better whether he is having feelings for you or not.

2. The Fear Of Rejection

It’s always a good idea to stay calm and try to put yourself in his shoes. At the end of the day, it could be his honest feelings for you, framed as a joke to make it less embarrassing for him.

Some guys are so scared of rejection from their friends or people that they care about, so much so that they don’t even take a step forward.

They feel a lot of pressure to not be rejected and so they bottle up their feelings instead of being honest to themselves and the person they have feelings for.

As a result, he might tell you he loves you “as a joke”. But in reality, it’s a low key way for him to express how he feels about you.

Try to figure out if your guy friend is afraid of rejection or if there really is something more to it.

How To “Lock-In” A Man’s Devotion And Make Him Yours Forever

As dating and relationship coaches, we believe you deserve to enjoy a loving, devoted relationship with the best man possible.

But here’s the harsh truth:

Only about 2% of women end up doing so.

Most women will go through life without ever experiencing this, going through disappointment after disappointment in their relationships, and growing old without ever ending up with their ideal match.

But every now and then, you’ll meet that one couple who seem to have it all…

In fact, you probably already know some women who have that perfect relationship, and never have trouble with guys.

So what are these women doing differently?

Here’s the secret:

It’s not about your body…

It’s not about your age…

And it’s not about your looks either…

It all boils down to being able to trigger the natural “devotion instincts” inside a man’s mind.

To learn exactly how to do this, check out our free guide now:

Here’s the thing we’ve noticed in the women we coach:

The first thing that happens once you start using these simple techniques is everything becomes EASY.

You will find it EASY to talk to guys at parties and draw their attention.

It will become EASY to captivate a man, and make him obsessed with you.

And it will become EASY to make him devote his entire being to love you, cherish you, and make you feel like the most special girl in the world.

Learn the techniques now and try them out for yourself – You will be surprised at how big of a difference it makes in your life!