What is going on in his thoughts when he claims he wants space yet still texts?
Usually, giving him space means ceasing all contact with him in the relationship. So why does he keep messaging you?
The wise course of action is to watch his actions rather than listen to his words.
As international relationship coaches, we’ve studied the male mind for years…
And we’ve helped thousands of women around the world figure out exactly what they are thinking.
Today, you’re going to learn all about why he said he wants space, yet keeps contacting you.
Before You Continue…
Does he REALLY like you? Take this quick quiz to find out! Find out what he REALLY thinks, and how strong his feelings for you are. Start the quiz now!
Why Is He Still Texting Me If He Wants Space?
If he explicitly asked for some space, but he still keeps in touch with you either by texting or calling, it’s clear that he has some hidden intentions behind his actions.
It can leave you very confused, wondering what exactly is going on in his mind.
It can feel like you don’t know what’s going on. Maybe you’ve tried to stop contacting him, but he contacts you anyway. And maybe he even apologizes for being distant, but then after some time it happens again.
If this applies to you, keep reading. We’re going to go through the main reasons why a guy would say he needs space but still texts you:
1. Attachment vs Detachment
Guys with attachment and detachment issues are often in relationships that follow a cycle:
When he’s with you, he might start to take you for granted. Over time, he might drift away from you, or go distant.
But when he doesn’t get in touch with you in a while, he starts getting anxious. Feeling anxious leads him to contact you again with the hopes of getting closer.
When you respond to his texts or calls, it becomes easier for him to feel close to you again. But his emotions will still be a mess, and he won’t be sure about his relationship with you.
That’s why it’s so important to build a strong emotional connection with a man, and get him to completely commit to you before moving forward.
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2. He Wants To Test You
Another reason for your boyfriend’s such behavior is that he wants to test your feelings for him.
It’s a behavior that’s rooted in insecurity. Men who feel unsure about how their partners feel will tend to do this, because they want to see how they’ll react.
He wants to see if you’re going to chase after him, or if you’re going to notice a difference having him go cold on you.
In other words, they don’t necessarily want space – they want proof that their partner is committed and loyal. It’s a way for them to make sure that the relationship is going well, and reassure themselves it’s not something they should abandon.
3. He’s Exploring His Options
Here’s a common scenario where a guy would ask for space but still text you:
In his mind, he has second thoughts about your relationship.
On the one hand, he feels comfortable with you. But at the same time, he also wants to explore his other options.
In other words, you’ve become his “back-up plan”, and he’s keeping you close just in case things don’t work out with someone else.
This doesn’t necessarily mean he’s already cheating on you. But it’s a clear sign that his heart is drifting away from you…
4. He’s Playing Mind Games
Sometimes guys will do this simply because they’re playing a game with their girlfriends. They enjoy toying with their significant others, and having them on edge.
What this means is that he’s testing your relationship, and seeing how you react. He hopes that the discomfort and anxiety it generates will make him feel powerful and in control of the situation.
It’s a very unhealthy thing in a relationship, and it shows that he hasn’t fully committed to you yet.
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5. He Wants To Be Sure About Your Relationship
Let’s take a look at why he wanted space in the first place:
Often times, guys will ask for space because they need to process their emotions. Yet it is rare for them to be completely honest about this.
Deep in his heart, he could be trying to make a decision about the relationship.
In other words, he wants to be sure about whether or not you two can make it. Or if he is in fact ready to commit.
In this situation, it’s simply a matter if giving him space to figure out what he wants.
This usually means you need to spend some time apart from each other before he’s certain about being in a serious romantic relationship with you.
6. He Is Feeding His Ego
This is another mind game that guys will sometimes play with their partners.
By pulling away and asking for space, he is secretly expecting you to be upset and jealous. He wants you to chase after him, and beg for his attention.
And then when you finally reach out to him, he’ll take it as proof that he has power over you. That’s what makes HIM feel good.
He might even be basking in your attention for a few days, before he gets bored and the cycle continues.
That’s why it’s so important for you to secure his complete devotion, so that HE will be the one chasing you every day in your relationship.
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Use these easy techniques to “lock-in” a man’s commitment to you, and to make him love you FOREVER!
7. He Wants To Spend Time With His Friends
The good news is that a guy who’s asking for space but still texting you is not necessarily a bad sign.
Sometimes, men just need a bit of time and space so that he can unwind with his friends.
It’s normal for a guy to enjoy spending time with his friends, and don’t always want to spend every single night at home with you.
If this is done in a healthy way, he will come back to you recharged and excited to get back.
8. He’s Going Through A Rough Patch
Let’s face it – Everybody goes through rough patches sometimes.
A guy might be going through a rough period at work, or had some trouble dealing with a family member.
Those situations can bring up all kinds of weird feelings, and he could need some time to process them. And that’s completely normal.
Everyone deals with their troubles differently. But guys will tend to do so in isolation.
It doesn’t necessarily mean he’s not sure about your relationship, or that he doesn’t want to commit – It just means your man needs space for a while so he can deal with his current problems.
What Does It Mean When A Man Says He Needs Space?
When a man says he needs space, it means that he is not comfortable with the situation at the moment.
This does not necessarily mean that this man does not like you, but his mind might still be focused on other issues or areas of his life.
That being said, it could be something much more dishonest too.
Let’s take a look at some common reasons why he asks for some space:
1. He Needs Time To Recharge And Refresh
When you’re boyfriend says he needs space, he could mean that he wants to take some time for himself in order to renew his energy for you.
If things were great between you and you’re boyfriend, then this time apart will be fruitful in the end.
He might feel like his emotions or feelings for you are weighing him down or like they are clogging up his mind in some way.
It’s just how guys naturally tend to deal with their emotions. And once he does this, he will come back to you with an open heart, ready to love you again.
2. He Is Reconsidering Your Relationship
If your relationship has been gloomy and tense lately, he might be considering ending it with you so that he can start anew with another woman.
At the same time, these types of talks are often heavy and stressful.
So in other words, asking for space is his way of giving you notice that the relationship is over.
If you want to maintain the relationship, try to work out your problems as best as you can before it’s too late.
Do it now, and don’t wait till he leaves you. Either that or stop seeing him entirely.
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Use these easy techniques to “lock-in” a man’s commitment to you, and to make him love you FOREVER!
3. He Wants To Break Up
Here’s the worst case scenario: He doesn’t want to hurt you, but he wants to break up with you.
Perhaps he’s been feeling unsatisfied in the relationship for a while. Or he might want to end the relationship if he has found someone else whom he thinks is better than you.
This can be extremely harmful for your self esteem, so it is best not to think about other women in the beginning of the relationship because this will cause unnecessary suspicions for both of you.
How Should You Respond When Your Boyfriend Says He Needs Space?
When your boyfriend says ne needs space, it’s an extremely confusing situation because you’re still technically “together”, yet you’re spending time apart.
Since you haven’t officially broken up, it’s hard to predict what will happen. Your boyfriend might eventually see the value of staying together with you, or he might realize that he truly doesn’t want to be with you.
Whether or not your relationship sticks together, it’s important to stay calm and avoid panic. So here are a few tips on how to deal with this sticky situation:
1. Don’t Rush To Fix Things Immediately
However hurtful his actions may be, you need to make sure you handle the situation calmly and rationally.
You probably want to get back together with your boyfriend. But you have to get back together with him by acting like a mature adult who understands the situation.
The less pressure you put on him to get back together, the more likely he is to come around and realize that he wants you in his life again.
That’s because he will likely see that it’s not worth giving up what he already has for something that may not work out in the end.
So stay calm, and don’t rush anything. It’s a delicate situation that you don’t want to mess up!
2. Give Him Space (And He’ll Come Back)
The best thing to do is give him what he says he needs, and give him some time to deal with things alone.
He’s already told you what he wants, so there’s no point in spamming his inbox and flooding his phone with messages. Doing so will only push him away.
Just respect his wishes and give him the space he needs to figure out what he wants. You may even find that you become more attractive to him by not trying to control him and make him feel bad for wanting some time apart.
So try your best to relax and let go, and don’t try to force contact with him unless it’s something crucial (like wanting to tell him something important).
That said, you do need to maintain some level of contact since doing nothing but ignoring him completely will make it seem like you’re not interested in getting back together with him.
3. Take A Step Back
Giving him space is a two way street. If he expects to be left alone, you shouldn’t make yourself too available to him either.
You shouldn’t ignore him completely. But you also shouldn’t be around him and constantly trying to win his attention. That’s like putting a big sign on your head that says “I’m needy!”
Instead, enjoy the time for yourself too. This is the perfect time for self-love and caring for your own wellbeing.
4. Work On Yourself
In the meantime, you should work on your own self and find ways to move on with your life. If you’re still in college, focus your energy on academics. Or if you’re working on a project you’re passionate about, put your heart into it.
Take care of your physical, mental and spiritual wellbeing. This will help you feel happy and peaceful no matter what happens, and it will also give you a great sense of accomplishment when everything is said and done.
5. Know When To Call Things Off
It is fine to give him his space, but this should not last forever. If you notice that you have given him space for over a month, then it’s time to face the facts that he has probably moved on and is not interested in getting back together with you.
Remember: You’re a beautiful woman of high value, and you have needs and standards too.
So if a man isn’t living up to your values, it’s time to remind yourself that you are the prize. And if he’s willing to let you go, it’s his loss.
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