We’ve all been there: Worrying about what to text a guy, and waiting for him to make a move…
You want to ask him out, but you really don’t want to be rejected.
Texting guys can be really stressful sometimes!
But imagine if you could ask out any guy you want over text, without sounding awkward or weird…
You could turn on your phone, and easily set up dates through text with any guy, without worrying about getting rejected…
Wouldn’t that be nice?
Today, we’re going to show you EXACTLY how to ask a guy out over text, the right way.
Our team of experts will show you step-by-step how to text a guy and ask him out, and boost the chances of him saying yes.
In fact, we’ve coached hundreds of women to do the same. For many of them, these steps have changed their dating life completely.
They don’t have to wait for a guy to make the first move, or worry about rejection anymore.
Sadly, when most girls text guys to ask them out, they just end up sounding desperate.
But if you follow these steps, you’ll easily set up dates through text with any guy you want, and have fun doing it too!
Later on, we will also show you 5 example texts that you can use immediately in your own chats to ask guys out.
After reading this article, you won’t have to stress out about texting guys ever again!
In This Article:
The Secret: You Have To Be Smooth
Do you know what’s the number one mistake most girls make?
They’re not smooth enough.
Here’s what we mean:
On one hand, when some women text guys to ask them out, they make it too obvious that they like them.
They use texts like “let’s go for a date” or “I really like you”.
This is WRONG, because it puts a lot of pressure on the guy and can make things very awkward.
On the other hand, being too unclear is also bad. The guy can get the wrong idea, and you will end up in the friendzone.
The key is to strike a balance between “obvious” and “unclear”. This is called being smooth.
When your texts are smooth, you chat casually, and drop romantic hints every now and then.
At the same time, you don’t sound desperate or weird.
In fact, if you do this well, the guy will start chasing YOU.
If you’re not sure how to do this, don’t worry – Our step-by-step guide below shows you exactly how to ask guys out over text smoothly.
Later in this article, we’ll show you 5 great sample texts you can use immediately – They are guaranteed to make you sound smooth.
Follow these easy steps, and you’ll be able to ask out any guy you want!
Step 1: Warm Up The Chat
Whatever you do, DON’T make this mistake:
Using the first text to ask him out.
This comes off as too forward and unsmooth. So here’s what you do instead:
Before you ask a guy out, start the conversation and warm up.
By warming up the conversation first, it removes the pressure from the guy. The more casual and light everything is, the more likely he will say yes when you ask him out later.
The goal is to start a back-and-forth conversation, where you’re both texting about the same amount to each other.
You want to reach the point where the guy feels relaxed and natural chatting with you through text.
Chatting casually will build a good chemistry between you and him.
And the more chill vibes he gets while texting you, the more easily he will catch feelings for you on the date…
Step 2: Make Him An Offer
When asking guys out over text, this is the most important thing to do:
Don’t ask him to come – Make him an offer.
Once you start framing it as an offer, guys will start saying “yes” a lot more.
Think about it:
When you ask a guy to go do something with you, you’re trying to get his agreement and time to come out with you.
Here’s an example:
“Are you interested in going to the cinema with me this weekend? Please let me know…”
In this situation, he is the prize, and you’re trying to win him over.
But if you make him an offer to hang out with you, the vibes suddenly change…
“By the way, I’m going to see that awesome new movie this weekend. If you want to come, you’re invited 😊”
Now, you’re giving HIM the chance to go out with you. You become the prize, and he’s the one who has to win you!
Be careful – You still have to be smooth about it. If you drop the bomb too suddenly, it can still get awkward.
So here’s what you do:
First, focus on starting the conversation smoothly, and warm up the chat.
Once there’s back-and-forth texting, you casually make the offer.
A great way to do it is just adding “By the way” in front (just like the example above).
Remember: You want to do this only after things have warmed up and he’s texting back.
(If you’re still not sure, just use one of the 5 sample texts we included later in the article!)
Always suggest a time for the date. For example, “this weekend”, or “this Friday”.
This shows the guy not joking around, and forces him to make a decision.
If he’s busy, then follow the steps below and make a second offer…
Step 3: Follow Up
Okay – So you followed the steps above and asked him out…
There are a few things you can do after making him the offer that will increase the chance he says yes:
Text Him LESS
Most girls worry about what men want to hear in a text. Some of them stress out over what to send, and spend hours on their phone waiting for a reply…
This is the number 1 thing that turns guys off.
Imagine you gave a cat a piece of string.
It might play with the string for a few minutes…
But then it would get bored and walk away.
Now imagine that you pulled the string away.
The cat tries to grab it, but you pull it away again…
The cat will become obsessed over chasing the string, trying to catch it forever!
This is the same for guys – You have to make him chase.
In fact, once you get a guy’s attention, you should pull away immediately.
It might seem strange, but give it time, and let him come to you.
So after you invite him to go out with you, here’s what you do:
First, get off the phone and do something useful and productive.
Guys like girls who have interesting lives, so you need to take care of yourself to attract top quality men.
Second, you text him LESS.
Whether he says yes or no, you must message him less afterwards.
If you’re spending time off the phone living your life, you’ll do this automatically.
It also shows him that you are a busy girl who’s high in demand – So if he wants to talk to you, he has to invest his time to come out and meet you.
Keep Your Social Media Interesting
This is a trick that works if you and the guy you’re interested in are friends on social media.
You should show you have an interesting life on social media, and post regularly.
Once again, this shows you’re a popular girl with a busy and interesting life.
Posting on social media also attracts other guys to your profile. This tells the guy you’re interested in that you have options.
If you do this correctly, he’ll start chasing you even more!
Make A Second Offer
Sometimes, guys will say no. But it might not be a rejection.
Let’s say the guy says he’s busy. On one hand, it could be an excuse to reject you.
But on the other hand, he might just be busy that day.
In this case, make him a second offer.
Suggest another time, and see how he replies. There are three possibilities:
- He is not interested, and will make another excuse
- He is also busy at that time, but he will suggest another time
- He says yes!
See, most girls give up the first time he says no, because they feel discouraged.
But if you follow up with a second offer, you find out how he REALLY feels…
And most of the time, the date WILL happen!
You must suggest another time for this to work.
Never say “OK, maybe another time”. He will forget about your offer, and it will be really difficult to set up another date.
5 Sample Texts For Asking A Guy Out
Still not sure what to text a guy to ask him out? Don’t worry!
Our dating expert team has come up with a list of sample texts you can use that will boost your chances of success.
These techniques are designed to make you sound smooth – You won’t have to worry about sounding weird.
Follow the tips we’ve covered above, and drop these texts on him to set up a date!
1. Use Something You Have In Common
If you already know a little bit about the guy, this is the perfect way to set up a date.
The way it works is simple:
Pick something you both have in common. It can be anything, from sports, to food, or music…
Then, you simply suggest doing an activity related to it.
Let’s say you both like reggae music. Here’s an example:
“By the way, this crazy good reggae band is coming to town this weekend, you wanna go with me? 😊”
This works on many levels. First, you’re doing something you both love and enjoy.
This guarantees the date will be a fun time for both of you.
But more importantly – You’re making him an offer for a good time!
And because you’re suggesting an activity he loves, he will think you’re a cool girl immediately, and feel excited about hanging out with you.
Many amazing dates and relationships start this way. It’s a classic, because it works!
Always use emojis when you ask a guy out.
This gets rid of pressure, but also makes it sound like a fun time.
Take a look at the example we used just now – It would sound very different without the emoji.
By adding the smiley, he’s much more likely to say yes!
2. Use His Talents Or Hobbies
This is one of the most powerful texts you can use to ask him out with.
Because it instantly makes him excited to go out with you.
Think about the things he is good at. It could be a musical instrument, or playing a sport.
From this list, choose something that makes you like him, AND something that he is proud of too.
For example, let’s say the guy you like loves to play darts…
Start a chat with him, and then text him this:
“Oh yeah, I heard you’re pretty good at darts! I’m quite terrible, maybe you could teach me this weekend? 😊”
This is almost guaranteed to work for two reasons –
First, you’re doing something that he loves and enjoys.
Second, he will feel good that you appreciate his talent or hobby. This hits a powerful emotional trigger in his mind.
This method is so powerful, that even if he is busy, he will still want to go out with you on another day.
Think about the passion he has for his talent, and the time he puts into practicing it.
When you show you appreciate this talent, all those positive feelings also become attached to you.
Not only is he more likely to go out with you, he is also more likely to catch feelings for you.
Just copy and paste the text above, and replace “darts” with any talent or hobby you want!
3. Ask Him For His Opinion On Something
This method is similar to the last one, but it works on guys you don’t know very well too.
Here’s what you do:
Think of something you’re working on. This could be:
- Something that makes you special
- Something you’re good at, or
- Something you’re interested in
Let’s say, for example, you like painting. You can set up a date like this:
“By the way, I’ve been working on some new paintings 😊 I want to see what you think, what are you doing this weekend?”
Here’s another example for baking:
“Also, I learned to bake this AMAZING chocolate cake! If you’re free this weekend, you can come over and be my taste tester 😊”
This is a smart method, especially if you have a talent you’re passionate about.
During the date, you will be able to show your passion and your personality, which brings you two closer to each other.
But it goes deeper than this:
When a guy feels he is useful, he feels amazing.
Put yourself in his shoes:
A girl goes up to him and asks for help. Not only does he help her, she smiles at him and thanks him…
This is one of the best feelings a guy can get.
So when you ask him for his opinion, he instantly feels valued and is likely to accept your offer.
4. Go For A Coffee
Coffee is the safest way to ask a guy out using text.
In fact, there is almost ZERO chance for rejection. Here’s why:
A coffee date is a low-investment, low-pressure idea. It’s casual, cheap, and short, so most guys will simply think “Why not?”
Setting up a coffee date is easy. Simply text him something like this:
“By the way, you wanna grab a coffee with me tomorrow? 😊”
The great thing is, even though it sounds so casual, most guys will subconsciously get the idea.
And because it’s so low-pressure, it gives you both the opportunity to have real conversations and get to know each other.
5) “My Friend Flaked…”
This is another no-pressure way of asking a guy out over text.
The plan is simple: Tell him you were going to do something with your friend, but she can’t come anymore, so you’re inviting him instead.
Here’s an example:
“By the way, I was going to go ice skating this weekend with Alice, but she’s sick. Do you want to come with me? 😊”
This method works because it is under-the-radar, and sounds completely casual.
In fact, it’s 100% rejection proof – Even if he says no, you can casually say “No problem!” and try again another time.
As we’ve covered in #3, the guy also feels valued that he is saving your plans.
Because the date will seem so natural, it also makes it easy for feelings to grow and attraction between you two to happen.
BONUS: Make Him Fall In Love With These Special Texts
Now you should have a clear idea on the RIGHT way to ask out guys through text.
But usually, that’s not enough.
You see, guys have very short attention spans.
They like to text with many girls at the same time.
If you want his true love and undivided attention on you (and you only), then pay attention:
There are special words and phrases that are psychologically designed to make a man catch feelings.
They target the “emotional triggers” inside the male mind, and “lock-in” his feelings for you.
Once you start sending these texts, he will feel a powerful desire for you, and begin to see you as the most important girl in his heart.
As women, we understand.
Imagine finally meeting the perfect man you’ve been dreaming of since you were a little girl…
Wrapping his huge arms around you, holding you close to his heart…
And whispering into your ear how much he loves you, and how you’re the most important woman in his world…
When you finally meet him, are you going to be ready?
Will you know the right things to say to take his heart and make him worship you?
Or will he walk right past you and end up with another girl?
Remember these special texts, and never let another guy slip away again!